Sabotage!

I’m a man of ideas, a great adventure that never quite happens.
It sounds good, but there are responsibilities… Yet I never quite meet those because… I have an idea, a dream… I run off on a tangent. Isn’t it better to live, than plan?
Nice… Only… I’m still planning…
Sometimes it feels like my real life is passing me in these bubbles of possibility, just slipping by as I watch…
So I plan. I dream of that escape, planning how I can make it happen. I never do, but then… Things come up, right?
I will…
I can stop myself with a glance of the calendar. But then there’s the status quo… Better to slide than risk failure. Life sucks, but just imagine what would happen if I stopped sliding…
So, I find myself defined, trapped in a shape I let settle around me. Don’t let me slide though… I saw the mold coming. I let it.
It was easier…
Isn’t knowing where you’re headed always easier to follow? If you’re the only one saying left…
Now…
There’s both good & bad in knowing who you are. People can change, but it’s rarely easy. So… When you know who you are, it’s great at first. You’re sure of where you want to end up. You are you. But then… You are you…
You know where you’ll fail, & why. You know both sides & how to win either one.
This is what’s driving me crazy! I know the costs. I know all the f*cking costs!
I know I’ve made an insane choice. But, it’s a f*cking choice. I could keep sliding… I’m a pro at waiting…